This is a place for me to rant and rave and do whatever I need to feel better about the crap that happens in my life.
Being a single dad isn't exactly easy, y'know...
Published on March 20, 2006 By redimpulse In Parenting
My daughter is 20 months old, and where I think I'm doing a good job raising her, I can't help but ask myself daily; "Is she developing well? Is she on par with (or better than) other kids her age? What can I do to ensure that she continues to develop quickly and correctly?"

These questions, whereas I'm sure are asked by about every parent on the planet, are especially significant to me. I didn't get a lot of the things or attention that other children got when they were young. I had a particularly rough childhood; and although it didn't affect me to the effect of being a neurotic psycopath or anything like that, I did vow long ago to be sure my child(ren) never had to go through the things I did. Each day, I spend as much time as possible playing with her, reading to her, and trying to teach her anything she is able to learn. I try to get her to use one new word (sometimes two) each day, but it doesn't always happen like that. This weekend, she learned "chicken." She has a large vocabulary already, I can understand most anything she says. She's walking and running and climbing, and knows how to use the TV remote; something I didn't teach her.

Anywho, I try not to spend time on the PC over the weekend. My work revolves around the damned things, so I try to keep away on my time off. This morning, I was checking some of my favorite forums, and I come across this post about a friend's 22 month old. Apparently his child knows how to turn on a computer, activate DVD-playing software and watch a movie. His child is a little older than mine, and I know children develop at different rates, but I'm now wondering why my daughter isn't at that stage. She can turn things on and off (repeatedly; she's fried some of my electronics that way), but she doesn't seem to be interested in doing anything more with them.

Should she be able to use technology more by this point? I don't know. But she is one of the most social children her age. Maybe that's her forté. I've heard that children develop faster/better when both parents are around, but I don't see that happening. Her mom seems to be more interested in pursuing her own things than raising her daughter. Guess I'll keep playing both roles; but I still wonder if I'm doing a well enough job.

Comments
on Mar 20, 2006

Kids are all different.  My daughter talked extremely well and did all sorts of fine motor activities very young.  However, with age, she is now "average".  Kids just develop at different rates.

I, personally, think that it's best to stay away from too much TV/computers with children.  They need human interaction and activities that stimulate their brain. Watching a TV show/DVD doesn't accomplish either of those.

on Mar 20, 2006
Your friend's kid might not be as advanced vocally as your child is....and maybe the ability to activate the software comes from having been left with the equipment and DVD as entertainment.

Don't fall into the trap of comparing your child to other people's kids. They all develop at their own pace - my three were all very different children doing very different things at 20 months, but they are (and were) right where they needed to be.

Your kid sounds like she's doing exactly what she should be. She's happy, she's talking, she's interested in and aware of her surroundings.....she's doing great. Don't sweat it; it sounds to me like you're doing a great job!
on Mar 20, 2006
I will just echo the other sentiments that it sounds like she is on track. Don't get too caught up in comparisons. Our first was very far ahead in everything. The second, not so much at first. Now that she is older though, she has caught up and is ahead in many areas. Every child will be a bit different, and it sounds like yours is certainly meeting the accepted developmental stages (and none of them involve watching DVDs! ).
on Mar 20, 2006
Thanks for the insight everyone! I feel a bit better. Honestly, I hope I don't get her too caught up in electronics. From my experience it's a great field for work, but not something one needs to be addicted to especially at home. I just hope I can continue to raise her to be a strong, confident, intelligent person.
on Mar 21, 2006
As it has been said: every kid is different. You can, to an extent, form a mental benchmark for where you'd like your child to be based on other children of similar age, but you can't reasonably expect her to compare in every way to another child.

If she does get interested in computers/DVDs/games, make sure you have a balance of activities. I'm sometimes guilty of allowing too much TV and XBox for my kids (although it's almost a reasonable activity if I'm playing with him, right?). Everything in moderation...
on Mar 21, 2006
It sounds like your daughter is on track and is doing very well. The fact that her vocabulary is so good means she might even be a bit ahead of other children her age. You're doing a good job dad, keep up the good work!
on Mar 21, 2006
My daughter is 27 months, and has had very little interaction with the TV / DVD player / Computer, and that's the way I like it.

To my mind, if a 20-month-old can already manage to run a movie for themselves, it means THEY'RE WATCHING TOO DAMN MUCH TV.

I want my daughter to be learning things like stacking blocks, sorting toys, recognizing letters, squishing play-doh, and so forth; not just the names of all the critters on Miss Spider or Blue's Clues.
on Mar 22, 2006
My son is 20 months old now, and he sure can't turn on or off a dvd player, my girls are 4 and can stick a cd in, but that is it, probably cause they don't like tv much as anything but background noise. My son would much rather just cuddle with mommy, chat chat chat, help grandma in the kitchen and line up his trucks. He tends to speak in full sentances which amazes me or anyone else that hears him, but he also has sisters and a mom that are around all the time. The girls weren't near as far as he is now at the same age, but they are right on for their age group.

No worries for you, enjoy your baby while he is still a baby, they just grow up to fast!!!!